Authenticity: 10 Steps to Shattering Your “Perfect” Little Box

You know that perfect little box you’ve been squeezing in to? What if I told you that people would still love you (and you might even learn to love yourself) if you just took a hammer to it?

Don’t deny it, we’ve all been there. You pretend your life is different than it actually is. You post pictures on Facebook of you and your partner oogley eyeing eachother when in reality you just spent your New Years dinner discussing whether or not you should break up, and the next day she moves out (that’s too descriptive to not be personal haha). You take selfies of your face because you’re uncomfortable with your belly. You put dinner with the girls on your Visa (with the last $30 available) because you’re afraid to say you can’t afford to go out.

Guess what? You aren’t perfect! And that is not only acceptable, it is beautiful. Authenticity is so refreshing.

I urge you to please step up, step out. Stop squeezing. You aren’t fooling the people who actually matter. Those who pull away from you are afraid that you will expose their box (it’s not even about you). Let them fall away. Those who stay, love you for exactly who you are. They are the only ones who matter. You truly matter!

So….

SMASH THE BOX!

SMASH IT! It’s preventing you from falling in love with who you actually are, and living your life to your fullest and highest potential!

10 Steps to Break Free and Shatter Your Box

1. Acknowledge and Analyze it. Stop. Lying. To. Yourself!!!! Notice your box. How large is it? How/When do you use it? How does it benefit you right now? How does it make you feel?

2. Pick up the Hammer. Are you ready? What’s holding you back? Be honest with yourself. This is the start to smashing it. Be ready.

3. SMASH IT! Literally take the hammer and smash that shit. Call someone, admit a lie. The nagging lie would be a good place to start, as long as it won’t hurt anyone. This is about you. You created this box. No one else.

4. Dont be Fake Anymore. It’s exhaaaausting. Seriously, so much of your time will free up.

5. Let the Other Boxes Fall Away. Find the people who appreciate you and know your worth, make room for them. Popularity is incredibly overrated. Everyone knows 3 great friends is far more fulfilling than 30 fake friends.

6. Be Kind, Reliable and Trustworthy. Talk the talk and walk the walk. Act with good intentions. When you say no, mean it. When you say yes, mean it.

7. Be Open to Possibilities. Have faith. Think critically and objectively. Keep an open mind and question yourself – your motives, fears…

8. Be True to Yourself. What are your virtues? Morals? Values? Own your imperfections. Self awareness is so empowering. Learn about you. What gives you goosebumps? What makes you tick? Integrity is key.

9. Be Bold. Wear the polka dots when everyone else chooses black. Be honest, have courage, be brave. And at the end of the day own it all!!!

10. Love Yourself No Matter What. Love your quirks, your imperfections. Nurture yourself if you make a mistake. You are human afterall. Be grateful for your gifts. Be as authentic as you possibly can, and love this about yourself. Don’t change for anyone. When you are so comfortable within yourself you inspire others to do the same.

Authenticity. It’s a virtue. Do you believe this? Where will you let it take you? ❤✌

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WTF is a Sacral Chakra?!

Second blog in this mini-series of WTF for the chakra-impaired.

The Sacral Chakra (or Svadhistana) is my fave, and certainly the one I’ve done the most work with. It is located in your ponch (don’t be embarrassed, we all have one) in between your belly button and your privates. This chakra represents the hub of our emotions, and our sexual energy centre. It’s our emotional and creative responses to the core issues from the Root Chakra. The colour associated with this chakra is orange.

Hmmmm… An easy way to remember this one? Sacral… sacred (sex) and orange is spicy and fiery like our emotions, and like some sex 😋

When our Sacral Chakra is out of balance we will struggle with intimate relationships, (with others and with ourselves) and I don’t just mean sexually, though that is definitely a part of it. We will be codependent, needy and whiny little twits. We will seek pleasure in unhealthy ways. We will struggle with addiction, jealousy and rage. We will either hide our feelings completely or we will use them to manipulate and control other people.

Physically our reproductive organs, kidney, bladder and lower back will be impacted. We might experience infertility, testicular diseases, cramping (ugh) etc… I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and I can guarantee this was my Sacral Chakra screaming at me to pay attention because it was shutting down.

This one was a big one for me spiritually. The Sacral Chakra is connected to the Divine Feminine in all of us. It is associated with the moon, and goddess energies. Only once I was able to fully embrace this chakra was I able to discover my authentic self, love myself freely and unapologetically, and speak my truth without shame and judgment.

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You know what? This one was a big one for me just in general. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, or my “about me” section, you know I’ve suffered from severe burnout. Most of us have, in one way or another. For those of us who are empaths, I cannot even stress how important it is to pay attention to this chakra.

If you have experienced any imbalance in relationships. If you’ve ever felt guilty for shining too bright. If you’ve ever felt insecure about sharing how you feel. If you’ve ever been a girl – been told not to eat too much, spend too much, talk too much, cry too much, or have too much sex. If you’ve ever been ashamed about enjoying sex with a partner, or multiple partners… Focus on this chakra!

Pull some orange into your wardrobe. Buy an orange blanket and cuddle up to it. Meditate with Citrine, Carnelian or Moonstone. Practice mindfulness – jackpot!! Be mindful of your thoughts and intentions and watch how these impact your emotions. Be aware of these emotions and how they feel in your body. If it feels good, then enjoy it! Find a solid balance between discipline and passion. It is vital that we find joy in this life!!

Explore yourself inside and out, and fall in love with everything you find ❤️✌️

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10 Things Turning 30 Has Taught Me

Birthdays – a time of year people celebrate with friends and family, receive gifts and get old. Also a time when we determine exactly what we should have achieved by our next birthday, and beat ourselves up for not having achieved what we set out to the year before. As my 31st birthday approaches I thought it would be appropriate to share with you some key tidbits from this past year – things turning 30 has taught me.

1. IT’S NOT WHAT IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE

First off, turning 30 was a really big deal to me. It felt like 30 was the age that everything is supposed to come together – your career, your school loans are paid off, you’re married, you own a house and have kids running around and if not at least you’re pregnant. For most of us that is certainly not the case, nor does it need to be!

2. 30 IS A DEADLY TRAP OF COMPARISONS

As 30 approached last year I was terrified because I had none of these things. I found myself in the deadly trap of comparison. I saw other happy couples out walking their dogs and people from high school running successful businesses and I wanted to hate them. But instead I turned that frustration inward and started judging and resenting myself.

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3. 30 IS A MARKETING COMPANY’S WET DREAM

Here is a a woman who has just turned 30. She put a lot of pressure on herself to achieve things society told her she should have before her ass starts to sag and she is no longer appealing. Now she’s a woman who resents herself so much that she is willing to do anything – pay anything just to feel better. Que the infomercials and magazine ads.

4. YOU AREN’T A FAILURE JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT “THRIVING” AT 30

I felt like a total failure because the perfect 30 life wasn’t mine. And then I felt even worse when what I had achieved (a career, an apartment and a relationship that I thought would last forever) all fell away at the drop of a hat when I was 30 and a half. Society wants me to be ashamed of that. To be ashamed that I’m not living a white picket fenced kind of lifestyle. That I’m not financially stable or married. That my boobs seem lower then they were when I was 29. That I have crows feet and laugh lines. Oh and grey hair! But I am not ashamed! Not of anything! In fact I am so empowered!

5. 30 IS THE NEW 20

I am a woman going in to her 31st year without her ducks in a row. I don’t have my shit together and I’m not afraid to admit that. How can anyone expect us to go to school, get a decent job, pay off loans, buy a house and get married in this day and age? The housing market is a disaster. We have to go to school for 30 years just to get an entry level position (exaggeration but you get the point). The expectations are unrealistic.

6. INTERNAL WORK IS THE ONLY JOB THAT WILL EVER REALLY MATTER

We work our asses off trying to get this perfect 9-5 job, but right now I am doing the hardest work there is to do. I am digging deeper internally and more feverishly, more fearlessly than most people will ever do in their lifetimes. The external stuff means nothing to me. People might look at me right now and think I need to get my priorities straight (even my parents, so don’t worry I don’t judge that comment – you’re entitled to think what you want) and although I appreciate your concern, I honestly don’t give a shit. If you’re feeling brave enough I invite you to drop your resume and embrace this job!

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7. 30 IS THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF FULLY

After living for 30 years you’ve likely gained some insight as to who you are, and what works or doesn’t work well with you. If you’re anything like me you’ve learned you’re garbage at setting boundaries and following your intuition. But 30 is the time to really get your ass in gear and start honouring this. You’re an adult. Stop wasting your time. Get to know yourself, and fully own everything about you.

8. BEING PROUD ISN’T A BAD THING

I am proud of the woman I am today, and the woman I am becoming. And I will not apologize for taking the time I need to work on myself internally. I am unapologetic in my pursuit of self discovery. And I wish the same for you too!

9. WE LIMIT OURSELVES UNINTENTIONALLY

As it turns out, turning 30 wasn’t a total waste of time. Once I stopped comparing myself to others and trying to conform to the “ideal”. Turning 30 completely changed my life. Open your mind to possibilities beyond what you’ve imagined your life to look like at 30. The Universe has something better planned. Open yourself to that now!

10. 31 IS EVEN BETTER

This year I am really looking forward to my birthday. I am so excited to turn 31. This is a new kind of a birthday for me. It represents the first birthday I’ve ever had as a woman in her power. As a woman embracing her age, her wisdom, her wildness, and her authenticity. I’m taking all of the lessons I’ve learned this year and jumping head first into the next.

Happy (almost) Birthday to Me! ✌️❤️😀

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Women’s Empowerment – The Future is Female 💖

Mother’s Day just passed so a Women’s Empowerment post seems appropriate. That seems so ridiculous tho – doesn’t it? Why the f*ck are we only posting about the badass women we know one day out of the year?!

Women are beautiful, intuitive, passionate, nurturing, wild, loving people and deserve to be celebrated every minute of every day!! We’ve lived so long in a world that celebrates the accomplishments of men, and quiets the voices of women – telling us were either “too little” or “too much”. And somewhere along the line we started to believe that! We started judging other women – our sisters – telling them to stop being slutty or bitchy or needy.

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This needs to end.

It’s time for women to lift each other up, to stop comparing, to start owning exactly who we are – The Powerful Badass Warrior Women, and among them are those who literally birthed every single human on this planet!!! And it’s time for men to recognize the divine feminine in each of us, and in themselves and empower women to shine as brightly as they possibly can.

So do one thing today – tell yourself or a woman you love, or a woman you don’t even know, how f*cking amazing they are! 😀❤️✌️

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