The instant I acknowledged my belief in Spirituality things started to change for me. That’s literally all it took, and I was seeing the world differently, I was feeling more at home in my own body, and in the life I had lived for 30 years. I could feel the presence of something heavier in the air – not in a bad way, in a beautiful way. In a way that told me that there was more to this world that what my baby blues could see. I was being drawn to so many things; a metaphysical store I have seen a million times and never gone in to, crystals, Reiki, meditations on YouTube. Social Media was swimming with quotes and links to events and blogs. People I spoke to (which weren’t very many, remember burnout…) were talking about Buddha and Twin Flames – WTF?!
I started reading about Spirituality – figured a blog was a good place to start, because my heart (my intuition, my inner knowing if you will) was there, but I’m a Gemini, and if my intellectual side isn’t satisfied, girl (or boy) you know I’m not going anywhere. The first site that was plastered across my computer screen was called “Loner Wolf”. I certainly didn’t google that myself. But if you haven’t checked them out, do it! https://lonerwolf.com/ It’s a site created by a set of Twin Flames (go figure), Mateo Sol and Aletheia Luna (biographies below). They have hundreds of blog posts, and I found the two that I was craving, rather they found me. “30 Signs You’re Born to be a Spiritual Healer” by Aletheia Luna, and “Is your Life Crisis Really a Spiritual Calling in Disguise” by Mateo Sol – both links here;
As I read these articles, I started to feel like I fit, like actually FIT, for the first time ever. I know you probably don’t know me. But if you did, you would likely think that’s a ridiculous statement. I don’t come off as an introvert, or someone who has a hard time making friends, or “fitting in”. I get along with everyone because that’s what happens when you live to impress other people. As you read in my previous post, I put your feelings about me above my feelings about myself, so I morphed into whatever I thought you needed me to be. If you had asked me who I was, I would never have been able to answer that. It actually makes me cry thinking about that, but it’s so very true. Even if I was in the middle of the room, cracking jokes and being a social butterfly, I felt like I was different from you all, I felt like an outcast that could never find their place. Inside I was screaming for people to love me, because I couldn’t figure out how to love myself. But even I didn’t know that, I was certainly learning it though. And reading these articles was my next step in that journey.
“30 Signs You’re Born to be a Spiritual Healer” by Aletheia Luna hits the nail on the head. It talks about Spirituality going against the grain of what we’re taught in the Western world. I’ve always had this sense of being the “black sheep”. I’ve always been attracted to energies and extremely sensitive to physical and emotional environments. I can sense energy and become drained when anothers’ energy is negative. Meditation and Mindfulness are things I actually feel so passionate about, despite others’ views. – journal entry Dec 2017
The items listed on this page spoke so clearly to me. They allowed me to feel that I was on the right path, and that there was this community of people out there who understood me. Who could verbalize the things I’ve been wanting to say for so many years, and didn’t have the wherewithal, or courage to speak.
- You are highly sensitive to energy.
- You feel other people’s emotions and physical ailments as your own (empath).
- You are intuitive and can read others very easily.
- You are a “big picture” thinker (and don’t concern yourself too much with the details).
- You have gone through bouts of existential depression.
- You have felt like an outcast for most of your life.
- You think differently from others.
- You get overwhelmed in public easily.
- You have struggled with anxiety or panic before.
- You are the natural peacemaker between people.
- You are the confidant that people turn to in times of need.
- You experience digestive issues, lower back pain or gain weight around the stomach (solar plexus chakra disorders).
- You feel drained after spending too much time around people
- Sensitive beings like animals and children gravitate towards you.
- Other people tend to “dump” their emotional baggage onto you to deal with.
- You think in shades of grey rather than in black and white.
- You are very aware of the interconnectedness of life and deeply respect it.
- You believe in synchronicity more than coincidences.
- You have a history of healers in the family, e.g. nurses, psychologists, massage therapists
- You’ve experienced a major trauma in your life, e.g. loss of your family, life-threatening illness, near death experience, physical/sexual/emotional abuse, war, mental illness.
- You’ve gone through a spiritual awakening.
- You’ve experienced the dark night of the soul.
- You tend to use the right side thinker more than a left side thinker.
- You experience chronic pain in your body or an autoimmune disease (energetic blockages).
- You are EMF sensitive (electromagnetic hypersensitivity).
- You tend to attract people who need “fixing” but often get trapped in self-sacrificing roles.
- You’re an excellent and compassionate listener.
- You are naturally drawn towards healing professions that help others experience balance and wholeness.
- You can feel, distinguish between and alter the energy within and without yourself.
- You have had numerous mystical experiences.
List from “30 Signs You’re Born to be a Spiritual Healer”
by Aletheia Luna (link above).
The only downfall to reading this post was that immediately when I finished I started obsessing about getting back to work right away. I googled roles or careers in which “Spiritual Healers” would be employed. I racked by brain thinking about how I could make this happen right away. I caught myself trying to find value in external sources – again. I realized my ego was trying to avoid the actual work that was necessary, the real work, the soul work.
Then I found the other post, “Is your Life Crisis Really a Spiritual Calling in Disguise” by Mateo Sol. And I realized that this is where I need to be. It was here that I needed to sit with myself, because I knew that if I could truly see my entire breakdown, not as a personal attack from God, but as a Spiritual Calling, then I would have no question that I am valued and loved, that I’m part of a collective, that I have a divine purpose. I could actually choose who I want to be, and I could delve deep into the layers, walls and impressions that I’ve created in myself so far. I could do the really dirty work, and still feel like I was going to be okay, or perhaps even better than okay!
“There comes a moment in our lives where we grow out of the collective values and ways of living common to our societies. At a certain point in our lives, we realize that the values, attitudes, relationships and beliefs we’ve held no longer contribute to the development of who we truly are: our authentic selves.
This life crisis, although painful, provides a vital opportunity for us to begin our spiritual journeys towards wholeness”.
Quote from “Is your Life Crisis Really a Spiritual Calling in Disguise”
by Mateo Sol (link above).
The most important thing that I took away from Mateo’s article was that this crisis is just the beginning. When you’ve experienced a “calling” it’s like you know that it’s not going to be easy, but you just can’t not do it. It feels like you have no other choice, like the Universe sets everything up perfectly so that you know this is what needs to be done. I knew that I was at a place in my life that required commitment to my Spiritual practice. Essentially, it required a commitment to myself. And so I committed, and yes it was shaky, under torrential downpour at times, but I am still here – committing. And whether or not other people understand this, is completely out of my control. I get that now, and I don’t let it have any impact on me. Hmmm maybe that’s not entirely true. There are VERY few people in my life that I’m still effected by, but it does happen and it’s really not easy feeling like I’m disappointing them, or embarrassing them, but that’s all part of the journey I think. Not everyone is going to understand you, even if that hurts your heart. It does not mean they don’t love you.
If you feel like you are being called for a Spiritual Journey, get on the bus and go with the flow! Sure, buses are super uncomfortable – there’s a lot of people you don’t know, and only one washroom (if any, eek) – but so is embarking on a journey of self-discovery. In my humble opinion, being uncomfortable is much easier than being lost. Being uncomfortable means that there will be growth. And growth means that you are getting closer and closer to finding out who you truly are, and that you are capable of anything! We are called to realize this, and to become a force of good in this world. Each of us has a purpose, and each of us will be called to it.
Will you listen? Will you embark on the journey?
I hope you will ❤✌
Loner Wolf Biographies
Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. As a child, Aletheia Luna was raised in a fundamentalist Christian church. But after experiencing depression, isolation, and anxiety as a result of their dangerous cult teachings, she experienced a spiritual awakening at the age of 19. Since leaving and picking up the pieces of her life, Luna has dedicated herself to intense inner healing and a process she calls soulwork. Later, in 2012 she co-founded popular spiritual website, lonerwolf.com. As a mystic, spiritual mentor and soulwork therapist, her mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment, and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.
Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. However, at the age of 18, Sol experienced a spiritual awakening which aroused in him the desire to help others. After reconnecting with his ancient Peruvian roots and being initiated into their ancestral wisdom, Sol co-founded the influential spiritual website lonerwolf.com in 2012. As a shaman, soulwork therapist and spiritual guide, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life.