Birthdays – a time of year people celebrate with friends and family, receive gifts and get old. Also a time when we determine exactly what we should have achieved by our next birthday, and beat ourselves up for not having achieved what we set out to the year before. As my 31st birthday approaches I thought it would be appropriate to share with you some key tidbits from this past year – things turning 30 has taught me.
1. IT’S NOT WHAT IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE
First off, turning 30 was a really big deal to me. It felt like 30 was the age that everything is supposed to come together – your career, your school loans are paid off, you’re married, you own a house and have kids running around and if not at least you’re pregnant. For most of us that is certainly not the case, nor does it need to be!
2. 30 IS A DEADLY TRAP OF COMPARISONS
As 30 approached last year I was terrified because I had none of these things. I found myself in the deadly trap of comparison. I saw other happy couples out walking their dogs and people from high school running successful businesses and I wanted to hate them. But instead I turned that frustration inward and started judging and resenting myself.
3. 30 IS A MARKETING COMPANY’S WET DREAM
Here is a a woman who has just turned 30. She put a lot of pressure on herself to achieve things society told her she should have before her ass starts to sag and she is no longer appealing. Now she’s a woman who resents herself so much that she is willing to do anything – pay anything just to feel better. Que the infomercials and magazine ads.
4. YOU AREN’T A FAILURE JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT “THRIVING” AT 30
I felt like a total failure because the perfect 30 life wasn’t mine. And then I felt even worse when what I had achieved (a career, an apartment and a relationship that I thought would last forever) all fell away at the drop of a hat when I was 30 and a half. Society wants me to be ashamed of that. To be ashamed that I’m not living a white picket fenced kind of lifestyle. That I’m not financially stable or married. That my boobs seem lower then they were when I was 29. That I have crows feet and laugh lines. Oh and grey hair! But I am not ashamed! Not of anything! In fact I am so empowered!
5. 30 IS THE NEW 20
I am a woman going in to her 31st year without her ducks in a row. I don’t have my shit together and I’m not afraid to admit that. How can anyone expect us to go to school, get a decent job, pay off loans, buy a house and get married in this day and age? The housing market is a disaster. We have to go to school for 30 years just to get an entry level position (exaggeration but you get the point). The expectations are unrealistic.
6. INTERNAL WORK IS THE ONLY JOB THAT WILL EVER REALLY MATTER
We work our asses off trying to get this perfect 9-5 job, but right now I am doing the hardest work there is to do. I am digging deeper internally and more feverishly, more fearlessly than most people will ever do in their lifetimes. The external stuff means nothing to me. People might look at me right now and think I need to get my priorities straight (even my parents, so don’t worry I don’t judge that comment – you’re entitled to think what you want) and although I appreciate your concern, I honestly don’t give a shit. If you’re feeling brave enough I invite you to drop your resume and embrace this job!
7. 30 IS THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOURSELF FULLY
After living for 30 years you’ve likely gained some insight as to who you are, and what works or doesn’t work well with you. If you’re anything like me you’ve learned you’re garbage at setting boundaries and following your intuition. But 30 is the time to really get your ass in gear and start honouring this. You’re an adult. Stop wasting your time. Get to know yourself, and fully own everything about you.
8. BEING PROUD ISN’T A BAD THING
I am proud of the woman I am today, and the woman I am becoming. And I will not apologize for taking the time I need to work on myself internally. I am unapologetic in my pursuit of self discovery. And I wish the same for you too!
9. WE LIMIT OURSELVES UNINTENTIONALLY
As it turns out, turning 30 wasn’t a total waste of time. Once I stopped comparing myself to others and trying to conform to the “ideal”. Turning 30 completely changed my life. Open your mind to possibilities beyond what you’ve imagined your life to look like at 30. The Universe has something better planned. Open yourself to that now!
10. 31 IS EVEN BETTER
This year I am really looking forward to my birthday. I am so excited to turn 31. This is a new kind of a birthday for me. It represents the first birthday I’ve ever had as a woman in her power. As a woman embracing her age, her wisdom, her wildness, and her authenticity. I’m taking all of the lessons I’ve learned this year and jumping head first into the next.
Happy (almost) Birthday to Me! ✌️❤️😀