I was told right off the hop that this journey would be a lonely one. I knew it would be, but I never expected what was coming.
I was grieving the loss of my relationship, I was trying to push through years worth of burnout and compassion fatigue to try and rebuild relationships with my family and friends, and I was drawn to things spiritually that most people pass judgment about instantly. It was hard for me to be around anyone for longer than 20 mins without feeling completely drained, but I forced myself to call at least one person per day and have a real conversation with them.
I have two friends that I could talk to about my journey. Everyone else I felt judged or misunderstood. I’m sure this had a lot to do with the fact that I barely understood what was awakening in me, and pieces of my ego were still making judgments about it.
My friends, and even my dad, are still willing to listen without judgment and entertain my desire to do card readings or reiki. My friends love crystals and even attempt meditating from time to time. They are as supportive as they can be of my journey, without actually going through it themselves. And they have absolutely no idea how deeply meaningful that is ❤❤
And this is where my heart knows that something is still missing. Whatever it is I’m going through – an awakening, a calling, divine purpose – I feel like I need people who are also going through it. People I can talk to about phases of the moon, the rising of the feminine, the law of attraction, frequency and vibrations of crystals, energy in all its forms, She… Someone who hears the word “witch” and doesn’t instantly want to run in fear of me casting spells against them. I need these people to lead me, to resonate with me, to inspire me. There is something bubbling so intensely on my surface and I dont know how to release it.
As much as people are awakening and this new-age spirituality is taking different forms and gaining a much larger following, it is still very difficult to find those people. To create a tribe of soul sisters, of moon goddesses, of gypsy spirits.
It makes me wonder if most people are (like me) still hiding in what Rebecca Campbell calls their “spiritual closet”. In her book Rise Sister Rise, Campbell talks about this spiritual closet we hide out in, in order to protect our sacred beliefs. But she says;
“we must not waste our time hiding parts of who we are from the world around us. It is our weirdness, our secret passions, our deepest beliefs that make us who we are. Come out of whatever closet you are in”.
One of my wishes in creating this blog was to communicate with like-minded women and men who feel the energy shifting in the world, who feel the entirety of their core changing.
My other wish is two fold; that I could help people understand and have less judgment towards a spiritual calling, and even perhaps inspire those who are just starting their journey as I did a few months ago.
This journey is lonely in one way – but it is undeniably the most soul-filling feeling of connection that I’ve ever experienced. ✌❤